February 1, 2021

 February 1, 2021

 

Today is the third birthday I am celebrating without you.  The first, February 1, 2019, is a blur.  It was nine days after you died and admittedly I was most likely still in shock.  That being said, I remember it as a good day.  I went out once, to get my take-out Sushi dinner.  The first time in about five years you didn’t get it for me.  That was a little tough.  After I ate I was visited by Tanja and Jessica who brought for me a bottle of good scotch and a birthday cake.  I still feel the warmth in my heart now that I felt then for these two friends.  Just by showing up that night I felt like I was never going to have to worry about being alone on my birthday.  All three of my kids were there and they all had friends with them.  Everybody gathered in our living room and lit the candles on the cake and serenaded me with “Happy Birthday”.  

 

I’m not lying when I say it was the first time I’d had that sung to me in probably fifteen years.  We just didn’t do that in our house after the kids reached a certain age.  We generally didn’t make a big deal out of birthdays at that point.  Sure there were presents and a dinner out at the kids’ current favorite restaurant.  For Victoria we would do talk-out or I would cook a favorite of hers.  Crab Legs were always a part of it.  And for me it had become Sushi.  

 

So to have Jessica and Tanja just show up, and then join all those kids in singing for me, well, I knew then I would be okay.

 

Now, two years later, I know that even more.  The amount of you who have stepped up to wish me a Happy Birthday today is staggering.  I know it’s Facebook.  I know they remind you of everyone’s birthday.  And I know it takes about thirty seconds to send over your best wishes.  I don’t care.  I love and am grateful for each and every message.  While I try to thank everyone individually, I will miss a few.  So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making today truly special for me. 

 

slb

 

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